You’ll need to use the depreciated UIAutomation Driver for iOS versions below iOS 9.3. You will also need to use an older version of Xcode (7 or below) to make this work.
Yes. For your case you will need to make sure that the ip is of the OS X machine and that nothing (like a firewall) is blocking the port. Also that Appium Server is running on that machine, configured for that same port.